29 April, 2012

Gone With The Times ...

Beragon: When I'm close to you like this, there's a sound in the air like the beating of wings. Do you know what that is? 


Pierce: No, what? 


Beragon: My heart, beating like a schoolboy's. 


Pierce: Is it? I thought it was mine.

18 April, 2012

I didn't really understand the motives behind this until recently --

"...Like last night, they are not like tremors, they are worse than tremors,
they are these terrors. And it's like, it feels like as if somebody
was gripping my throat and squeezing and..."


Some say
Now suffer all the children
And walk away a savior
Or a madman and polluted

From gutter institutions
Don't you breathe for me
Undeserving of your sympathy
'Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did


And through it all
How could you cry for me?
'Cause I don't feel bad about it
So shut your eyes
Kiss me goodbye

...and

Sleep
Just sleep
The hardest part
Is letting go of
Your dreams


A drink
For the horror that I'm in
For the good guys and the bad guys
For the monsters that I've been
Three cheers for tyranny
Unapologetic apathy
'Cause there ain't no way that I'm coming back again

And through it all
How could you cry for me?
'Cause I don't feel bad about it
So shut your eyes
Kiss me goodbye
And

Sleep
Just sleep
The hardest parts
The awful things that
I've seen

JUST SLEEP

"...Sometimes I see flames. And sometimes
I see people that I love dying and... it's always..."

Wake up!

"And I can't... I can't ever wake up."

Sleep,
                                 My Chemical Romance

14 April, 2012

Conversation

This basically summarizes my life ever since I've been here.
Please don't take any offence to this, this is just my personal 
experience. 




Me: Hey John, Japan has tsunamis, and earthquakes, etc.
what does Korea have?
John: Koreans :lol:



(=^___^=)

12 April, 2012

(Our father, whose arts in Heaven, hollow be thine name)

BLUE JEANS
WHITE SHIRT
WALKED INTO THE ROOM YOU KNOW YOU MADE MY EYES BURN
IT WAS LIKE, JAMES DEAN - FOR SURE
YOUR SO FRESH TO DEATH AND SICK AS CA-CA-CANCER
YOU WERE SORTA PUNK ROCK, I GREW UP ON AIR POP
BUT YOU FIT ME BETTER THAN MY FAVOURITE SWEATER - AND I KNOW
THAT LOVE IS MEAN, AND LOVE HURTS
BUT I STILL REMEMBER THAT DAY WE MET IN DECEMBER - OH BABY!


I WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIME
PROBABLY A MILLION YEARS
PROMISE YOU'LL REMEMBER THAT YOUR MINE
BABY CAN YOU SEE THROUGH THE TEARS
LOVE YOU MORE
THAN THOSE BITCHES BEFORE
SAY YOU'LL REMEMBER -OH BABY- SAY YOU'LL REMEMBER
OH BABY 
I WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIME




                                                                                        -Lana Del Rey

Spikes


In the center of my memories.

The stage of my life

I wrote this on July 20th of last year and never published it.
The day I decided what I'd do with myself in my immediate thoughts. 



Bitter/sweet, just like all goodbyes. 

I had a beautiful sun sent by my window, and I threw it all away for this --
for this adventure that can arbitrarily change my life.

I had the warmth of my mother's hugs and the comfort of my father's words,
I had all the protection from my brothers (Hugo, and Andrew),
along with the love (laughter, crazy jokes) and support of my sister and best friend.
And nothing, nothing compares to my Leo.

I am leaving it all for this.  This.
It's not like I'm never going to see them again, for there are phone
connections, internets, and letters to keep them present -- but I feel like it shall
be somewhat of a while before I see them all (together, and constantly like I am used to).

But, alas, this had to be done.
Sooner or later, it had to be done.
New York City is not a place for the weak, or the stupid,
not a place for the languid and the thin of mind --
and like this, I've managed to adapt, live, and love this beautiful big bright city.
It will be my home forever.  Where ever I'll go, I'll always keep my head held high,
when I say, "I'm from New York".  This being true, I want to let this be a place where
nostalgically I remember my adventures, my loves, my disenchantments, my embarrassments, and
my life.  It has come exactly to that, I want the ability to remember.
I want to be able to forget and miss this place, in order to re-find myself, redefine myself, and so on.

I want to see Korea, Japan, Scandinavia, (maybe Germany again), and finally return
to the beautiful, impeccable, distinguished, and romantic France.  Exactly in that order too.







Maybe that's exactly what I'll do ... since apparently I've already planned it that way.
And since I've already taken the first step and left.
It must be so.  The heart wants what the heart wants.

Him

The one without a name

I think I love and understand one of my favorite poems now more than ever.
No wonder Crane was brilliant enough not to bother with a name for it.


In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;

“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”

IT HAS BEEN SO LONG!!

It hasn't really been that long since I blogged something,
because I did blog that photo of us not too long ago, but that photo is about
3 years old and I only blogged it here because I was feeling homesick and
it was one of the best photos I had available. I didn't even put it on my webpage
because Tony took that photo, not me -- I don't even own that. What do I own as
of right now? If practically nothing, then nothing at all.
I guess I figured I would be writing like crazy everyday (specially on my site,
which I haven't don at all) about the things I've done,
and what I'm intending to do, but blogging keeps losing it's enchantment more and more
with every passing day. I physically write in my journal, but that's not blogging.
I'm still writing, that, my novel, and like 60 emails a day to everyone
that knows that I'm here cause I'm just so dang attached. What happened to me?
I feel like I'm the same person, but not at all.
I've been looking forward to getting out of New York for the longest time, but now
that I have, I don't really seem to find what I was looking for.
Like, I'm living out some fantasy that I didn't know my mind possessed.
I've thought about leaving home for FOREVER like really, or
at least what seemed like forever. And now that I have I feel like I was starving for beauty in the land of the plenty. I'm so deprived and hungry for something beautiful that I think ... I think I had right in front of me and failed to see. I don't want to go back, at least I don't think I do, because though it might feel really great at first, like instant gratification for my vulnerable sentiments I know it's going to be the same story all over again. I'm not bored of living my life, because I still wake up every morning feeling
like this is just for a moment and that eventually everything's going to be as great as I want it to be.

I don't know if I'm letting myself be understood but I'm just going through a
happy happening with a bitter taste.

xx

14 February, 2012

Theda Magic



Experimental Photography

I would absolutely adore to recrete these photos, or bring to life something similar.  This is definitely what my inspiration is laching on to lately.


06 February, 2012

                                                                                           Jan Saudek

„You call me lavander, you call me sunshine...“

I think I'm in love with someone for all the wrong reasons.
I hope this doesn't come back to bite me.